And here I thought D-Rose was being a little brash by predicting the Bulls were going to be playing the Cavaliers in the playoffs. Turns out some yahoo on eBay turned the brash dial all the way to 11 by starting an auction for Bulls playoff tickets. Not even first round tickets. This guy has the Bulls going all the way to the Eastern Conference Finals:

For the low, low price of only $2,240 (plus $15 shipping and handling), you can purchase imaginary 300-level tickets for what I’m guessing will be an amazing Eastern Confernece Finals showdown between the Bulls and those aliens from Space Jam. It’s a good thing the eBay buyer protection link was nested right under the main add.

If you’re currently struggling to deal with the intense and complex emotions surrounding both Michael Jackson’s untimely passing and Michael Jordan’s induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame, then I may have the perfect way for you to express your feelings: by buying this Thriller album cover signed by both of them:

There’s no question that this truly one-of-a-kind item is worth every penny of the $16,500 asking price, and the free shipping makes it a real bargain. You can purchase with confidence too, because it comes with a certificate of authenticity. Unfortunately, the album itself is not included.

Here’s the ideal gift for a Bulls fan who wants any and every conceivable piece of Bulls-related merchandise: a vintage Bill Wennington jersey! It’s only $79.99 and the shipping is free. This jersey could help you relive that amazing 8-point, 3-rebound, 6-foul game Bill had against the Indiana Pacers in the 1998 Eastern Conference Finals. And yes, those were his playoff highs that season.

I’m sure you’ll agree that’s a fantastic bargain. After all, Bill is a three-time NBA champion. But for an even more perfect gift-giving experience, the jersey should be paired up with this Exquisite Aaron Gray Jersey Patch.

I’d be willing to bet cash money that you were just thinking to yourself, “Self, my shrine to the Chicago Bulls is nearly finished. I need only obtain one final pièce de résistance to make it complete.” Well, I have just the resistance piece for you: A pair of game-used shoes worn by none other than “Big Shot” Larry Hughes.

According to the product description: “Up For Bid Is a Pair Of Game Used Shoes Worn By NBA All Star & Chicago Bulls Star Larry Hughes. The Shoes Were Given To Me After A Game At The United Center in Chicago. The Size of The Shoes Are 14. The Shoes Are Customized And Say In Stitching ‘YAA & Also Homegrown.’ These Shoes Are Very Hard To Get So Get Them While You Can! Also Shoes Show Very Good Use As You Can See In the Picture.”

There are those who claim you can’t put a price of history, but this seller did, and it’s a steep one: The “Buy It Now” cost is $179.99 (plus there’s a $10 shipping and handling charge). That seems like a lot to pay for five pounds of cowhide and synthetic materials that carry the stale aroma of Larry Hughes’ sweaty feet. Unless of course they’re the shoes he used to walk out of Chicago after he was traded to the Knicks…but I don’t think that’s the case.

Another dubious aspect of this particular auction is this addendum to the product description: “This Autographed Photo Comes With A King James Collectables Certificate Of Authenticity And A Money Back GUARANTEE!” Maybe the seller just made a mistake, but if this is a scam, well, I can’t imagine a greater act of cruelty than tricking someone into paying almost $200 for a picture of Larry Hughes’ sneakers. Short of giving someone season tickets to the Clippers, anyway.

Sometime back in the 1990s, the Gibson Guitar company presented Michael Jordan with a custom-made Bulls-themed guitar. It has the Bulls logo, says “Chicago Bulls” and the serial number is CHI (CHICAGO) 23…in honor of MJ’s jersey number! Heck, it even has Mike’s signature. (Jordan probably had to put his name on the guitar to keep Jud “Sticky Fingers” Buechler from walking off with it.) MJ graciously accepted this totally sweet gift, but then one thing led to another and now it’s being sold on eBay for $10,000.

If ten grand is little outside your “ridiculous Michael Jordan-related collector’s items” budget, may I suggest this “Return to Greatness” 12-plate collection from the Bradford Exchange? The set was produced on hard-fired porcelain to the highest quality and artistic standards, and each plate is surrounded by 22 karat gold and a replica of Mike’s autograph. That’s right: A real imitation of MJ’s signature. A steal for $250. (And by that I mean you’ll be the one being robbed.)

I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of anything I’d rather spend my hard-earned cash on than a pair of game-used shorts that once adorned the sweat-soaked man region of Chicago Bulls legend Luke Schenscher. Just think: For only $26.99 — plus shipping — these babies could be yours. (Presumabaly, the seller either washed or at least Febreezed them before putting them up for sale.)

What’s that…you don’t remember Cool Hand Luke? The undrafted, seven-foot Aussie out of the Georgia Institute of Technology? He played 20 games for the Bulls back in 2005-06, and I guess you could call him sort of a poor man’s Aaron Gray. Yeah, I know. His stint in the Windy City was pretty forgettable, with his best game being a glorious 10-point, 4-rebound, 1-assist virtuoso performance in a 95-66 home win over the Portland Trail Blazers. Sadly enough, in that game, Luke outscored every member of the Blazers except Zach Randolph.

Even sadder is the fact that the auction isn’t for the shorts Luke wore in that career-best game. They’re from a 2006-07 preseason contest…that happened shortly before the Bulls waived him. And the sadness doesn’t end there. Take a gander at the best picture the sellers were able to find of Luke’s tenure with the Bulls: Him playing 7-11 defense and getting scored on by (I think) DeShawn Stevenson.

On the subject of eBay money-wasters, would you believe that somebody is trying to sell tickets to Game 6 of the Bulls-Celtics series? The “Buy It Now” price: $2,653.60. The worst part — I mean, other than the fact that the game happened over a week ago — is that the seller is charging this price for 200 level tickets. But then again, he/she probably figures that anybody looking for tickets to a game in the past already has a time machine, and anybody who can traverse the mists of time probably doesn’t have to worry about money anymore.

However, if you happen to be a time traveler with a mean frugal streak, you can still get 100 level tickets to Game 3 for only $399.99. Enjoy those seats, Doc Brown. But I suggest that you park the DeLorean nearby. Game 3 doesn’t end so well.

Would you build a motorized bar stool out of an old lawn mower? Are you suffering from a crippling  case of dementia? Do you have a spare $165 — plus $10 S&H — just burning a hole in your pocket? If you answered “Yes, yea gods, yes!” to all three questions, then eBay has just the auction for you: A pair of game-used shoes worn by former Bull and beard legend Drew Gooden! Because nothing says “I love my Chicago Bulls!” quite like decorating your home with a couple of ratty sneakers that smell like Drew Gooden’s feet.

According to the product description: “Game Used Drew Gooden shoes size 17 marked promo. Purchased directly from the Chicago Bulls at last years National Sports Collectors Convention. Each pair comes with a buisness card from the Bulls employee that ran the both [sic]. See pictures For condition. Ask me any questions you may have.” In response, I sent the seller a question asking: “Do you really think, given the current financial crisis sweeping our fair country, that somebody is going to pay that much Gooden’s stanky old shoes?” So far: No response.

If you’re a more discriminating Bulls fan — and by “discriminating” I mean “cheap and not insane” — then maybe you should bid on this pair of game-used Randy Livingston warmup pants from the 2005-06 campaign. And since Randy only appeared in 5 games for a total of 22 minutes that season, you can be sure those babies saw a lot of use. Bid with confidence.