Tag Archives | Joakim Noah

Joakim Noah: Lovin’ the offseason

Any defeat-related agony that Joakim suffered over that Game 7 loss to the Celtics is apparently long forgotten. He can now be found in beautiful St. Barts, surfing, clowning, drinking, flexing Hulk Hogan-style, burying people in sand and (NSFW) frollicking in the ocean with busty, topless beach babes. I guess “working on my post game during the offseason” […]

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Game 6: Are you kidding me?!

No, seriously…are you kidding me?! I don’t even know where to begin. Really. I have no freaking idea. Remember that scene in The Princess Bride when Inigo Montoya said: “Let me ‘splain. [pause] No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry’ Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all […]

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Game 5: What a waste

Early on in this series, I could have accepted and might even have been pleased with a moral victory. But that was then, and right now all I can see is a wasted opportunity that — in my mind, if not yet in fact — cost my team its last best chance of advancing to […]

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So close to 2-0! And yet so far…

Holy crap! You wanted playoff drama, you got playoff drama. This game had everything: Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles… Okay, okay. That was actually The Princess Bride. But this game sure had its share of fairytale-like elements. A proud but ailing champion. A fierce and determined underdog. Mortal combat. […]

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D-Rose vs. the World (Champions)

On Friday, Zach Lowe of Celtics Hub revealed: “Rose scares me. … If Derrick Rose can break down the defense either through one-on-one penetration or screen/rolls, I worry that as the C’s big men help, Thomas and Noah will be able to find the right spots on the floor before Davis/Powe/Perkins can get back to […]

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Fresh ink: April 5, 2009

Kurt Helin of NBC Los Angeles: “Remember back around the All Star break, when Bulls were an unmitigated disaster? Rose looked like a rookie — a promising rookie, but one who turned the ball over and was still learning to play in the clutch. The team gave away fourth quarter leads like Jim Cramer gives […]

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Weaseling by the Wizards

It’s a win. I’m not giving it back. But the Bulls’ 101-99 victory over the Wizards — otherwise known as “The Worst Team In The Eastern Conference” — really should have come a little easier than it did. Maybe even a whole lot easier. Washington is terrible, they were missing their second-best player (Caron Butler), […]

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Word of the Day: Earthball

Earthball (urth’-bahl) noun. An awkward, graceless jump shot that defies standard ball rotation by spinning sideways, much like the planet Earth. This shooting method was more than likely devised by Joakim Noah. As inventions go, the Earthball ranks right up there with dog sweaters, pay toilets and the electric fork. Usage example: Earthballs are ugly […]

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Heat-Bulls: Some thoughts

The basics: Miami (27-24) at Chicago (23-29). Trends of note: The Heat have lost five of seven while the Bulls have won five of seven. Miami is 10-15 on the road this season and Chicago is 14-10 at home. Dwyane Wade (28.4 PPG, 5.0 RPG and 7.0 APG) has been playing like an MVP all […]

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